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i cybered on omegle today
You: hi
Stranger: hey
You: wanna cyber
Stranger: Depends are you a girl? ;)
You: ya
Stranger: And okay then, you start?
You: i come into ur bedroom
You: and ur sleeping
You: and i crawl under your blanket
Stranger: I'm still asleep
You: u feel me pulling down ur pants
You: and u wake up and smile
Stranger: I kiss you gently, still sleepy
You: then i smile and open the scissors around your dick and snap them closed
You: cutting off your penis
Stranger: wait
You: THATS WHAT YOU GET FOR CHEATING ON ME
Stranger: Then what...?
You: I HATE YOU
Stranger: I didn't cheat
You: you bleed to death in your bed
Stranger: i didn't cheat on you. lets restart ok
You: nobody ever knows what happened
You: i flee to mexico with your Mercedes
You: the end
Stranger: I have a mercedes?
You: not anymore faggot

(Source: mchades, via druggedupnfuckedup)

high-blogging:

lameborghini:

will commit illegal crimes in exchange for mozzarella sticks

illegal crimes

(via maxrajmahganja)

weedporndaily:

Weedman has to feed his kids
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(Source: bashum, via kush4kae)

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weedporndaily:

Double dabbed

(via letsgetfuckedupanddieee)

(Source: totallyamericandad, via notyourlimbs)